Jimmy The Legend

Disclaimer
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If this description matches any person whose name is Jimmy that’s not my fault. In fact my protagonist wants the world to know him by this name only..

The Plot
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He lit the Gold Flake from the oven and took a sip of the Glenfiddich on the rocks..Beckoning the poor lad with his evil smile he let out his notorious dialogue “Aaaja bahar.Tumse Kuch Baat Karna Hai “ .A chill breeze swept the pond in front of the room knocking out our inebriation. Jimmy took the poor kid ,Golden Brown (nick name off course) ,out in the verandah in that cool spring night of Mid West. Me and Sallu were oozing out the pieces from the rohan josh when the confession has already started in the verandah . Jimmy offered Golden a cigarette in midst of the Q&A session. Sallu was swearing Jimmy for torturing the most innocent of the persons among our group. Anyways after some twenty minutes it seems Jimmy entered the living room bearing his wicked smile followed by an emotionally impregnated Golden.. He was shivering in the silence which had the density of a war cry. He let out a dialogue which seemed to me like in an old Bachan movie “Do you guys think that I have not fulfilled the duty of a friend”. Repeatedly he said ,each time with aggravating emotions..I took the stage and pacified the emotional young man while Jimmy was struggling to hide his guffaw. Sallu now started with cursing Jimmy. Guess what this whole fuzz about. Jimmy was digging deep into the labyrinths of Golden’s cerebrum regarding a fleet of crush he had on his college days. He tortured the poor being as to why he compromised his love mistaking it as a infatuation. For Golden who lets out his feeling when not in sobriety , this was too much and Jimmy had struck the iron when it was volcanic in heat…

This is was one of the many incidents which made our American bachelor days kuch khatta and meetha. Jimmy the protagonist , bitterly known as “The Love Guru” and “Bengali Baba” and “Master Uguay ‘(Kungu-fu Panda fame), is one of the master who practiced this traditional art of brain washing . Jimmy works 24x7 and he spend his spare time cooking lots of good stuffs and brain washing people as a hobby. For this hobby hi modus operandi is classy as a Scorcese movie . After identifying a target (mostly a soft spoken single guy who has got an adrenaline rush for an opposite sex but never has the gut to express it) ,he used to lure him with his culinary masterpiece viz. mutton fried in mustard oil before making into a spicy curry. Anyway here comes a call from Jimmy on target’s phone.
“Hmm kidher haai”
“Ghar pe hain”
“Kyaa kar rahaa haai”
”Kuch nahi bas time pass”
“Accha suno idher tere liye khaas meine accha mutton banaaya. Ek dum spicy aur tasty.. Tu aa rahe ki nahi”
“AbeeNahi yaar thoda kaam haai ghar pe”
“Kaam gaya bhaad mein ..Kuch purana wine bhi haai..Mutton ke saath ekd dum sahi hojaayenga..”
“Par yaar…”
“Oi ..Tu aa rahe ki nahi..Aaja tujse kuch zaroori baat karnaa haai “(bingo)
“Theek hai mein aata hoon”

In Jimmy’s house the to be victim will be served drinks along with the spicy mutton. The guy after getting drunk will spill out a flash of his mind which Jimmy cleverly manipulated to add fire to the fury. Moreover Jimmy takes the help of his clichéd 90’s love in which he used to cycle near his school gates whistling an R.D melody to impress his then girl-friend now wife. Whatever be it at the end of the night when a plate of mutton and a bottle of Whiskey gets over ,there will remain a desperate man ready to wake up his object of love to say the 3 words….Whole of Dublin say this unanimously..Jai Ho Jimmy Jai Ho
Whether the job is to make someone identify his soul-mate or to channel another one’s energy to matrimonial sites or to make a third one buy an expensive item, Jimmy does it sincerely with an art. His work of perfection which I appreciate the most is this one incident in which he made a confused guy in our group buy a brand new corolla before even he knew what the wheels are there for . Jimmy made the guy think of the satisfaction he gets when he takes his family for a drive in the brand new car. The poor chap did already covered the United States three times in his reverie before signing the contract . And guess what Jimmy made sure that the whole group got drunk like pigs from the already robbed man’s credit card. Whether to convince a Telugu guy to fall for a Gujarati girl or a Bengali guy to fall for a Tamil girl Jimmy is there with blessed hands. Jimmy may not be the most proficient cook I have seen. He may not be the most hard working guy I knew of. However he is till date the most capable spiritual (in brainwashing sense) guru I have seen with flesh and blood. This blog is a dedication to all those odd families which almost existed (but didn’t Praise the lord) thanks to Jimmy’s demagogues. Ironically I want to conclude by confessing that Jimmy is till date my most favorite spiritual guru . Let the Legend of Jimmy continues to rule the world forever…

Aftermath
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I am accused of fooling Jimmy twice. Once making him eat cattle (which he follows religiously) and in another time making him buy a Honda civic (According to rumors spread by Sallu , Jimmy over spend some 3 grants for that). No Mea Culpa Jimmy. I was a mere instrument in the hands of almighty